Father’s Day Funnies: Memories of a practical joker.

Today is Father’s Day and it’s a day to celebrate those who are father figures in our lives whether its your actual father, a favorite uncle, a beloved grandfather or even a mom who is like a father.  This is my 8th Father’s day without my father.  He passed away from colon cancer December 2003.  So, this Father’s day I wanted to remember all of the crazy things he used to do.  He was well-known for playing jokes and being able to convince anyone that anything was true, even when most of it was false.  Today I am pointing out some of my funniest memories of my dad.  I know he has so many more than this, but these are just my favorites.

  •   Mr. Ed-When I was around 4 my Dad asked me if I knew how they got Mr. Ed to talk.  I, of course, didn’t know.  He told me that they stuck a carrot up his butt and that made him talk.  My mom proceeded to tell him that he shouldn’t say that to me.  He thought I would never remember what he told me.  That was 28 years ago.
  • The Mall-My dad was well-known to avoid us passing any kind of store my brother and I would want to go into while at the Mall.  So, each time we passed the store we wanted to go into he would say, “We will stop when we pass it again.”  We managed to NEVER pass the store again.  We would walk around the outside of the Mall through the parking lots just to avoid the store.
  •   The Lazy River-This is one of my favorites.  When we would go to a water park as kids my dad would go on one ride.  The Lazy River.  This is the ride where you would sit in an inner tube and ride the currents of the pool.  My dad would ride on this for hours.  Yes, hours.  How did he get away with this you may wonder.  Well, he would keep to the outer edge of the river and swim away from the lifeguards.  He did this every single time.  I think after a while the lifeguards would just ignore that he never got off.
  •  Swim shoes-I’m sure everyone has seen these before.  They are meant to be used at the beach or the pool so that your feet are protected.  I hated these shoes.  I still hate these shoes.  Why?  Because my dad wouldn’t just wear these shoes in the water park or beach.  He would wear them anywhere.  I still get embarrassed thinking about it.
  • Phillies Game/Phillie Phanatic– This only happened once.  I think that is because I was becoming wise to the fact that I had to question what my dad said.  In this particular occasion my dad told me to be sure to sit and watch the entire Phillies game because he was going to be sitting in the dugout with the team.  He told me I had to pay really close attention to try to see him.  And I like the gullible kid I was I sat and watched the whole game.  And guess what…I didn’t see him.  My dad kept the ruse up by eventually introducing me to a guy he proclaimed was the Philly Phanatic.  My mom finally told me when I was a bit older that my dad didn’t know the Phillie Phanatic and that he never sat in the dugout with the Phillies.  My dad just laughed.
  • Birthday’s in a restaurant-This one for once didn’t have anything to do with me or my brother, but it happened without fail.  Every time my family went out to dinner with my parents best friends and their family it was always someone’s birthday.  EVERY time my dad would wait until his best friend, Mr.H, left the table. He then proceeded to tell the waiter/waitress that it was Mr.H’s birthday.  So, when Mr. H came  back the whole wait staff would come out and surround him and sing Happy Birthday or whatever other song rendition that restaurant did.  I do think the best thing was that Mr. H never knew it was coming and he never connected that the birthday song was for him until it was too late.  I would say the look on his face was priceless.

Reminiscing about some of my dad’s more ornery moments reminds me of my most favorite memory.  My dad had a way of making all of my birthday’s special.  He would manage to fill my bedroom with balloons.  I still recall waking up to see the colors of all the balloons.  It made me feel special every single time. To this day on my birthday I wake up hoping to see balloons in my room.  Writing these funny moments down makes me feel a bit sad that my son won’t have the opportunity to buy into any of these jokes or be duped by a very convincing Grandfather.  I guess that just means my brother and I have to keep up the legacy.

Happy Father’s day!  I miss you dad.


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